Learning to Love the Work You Don’t Want To Do

Why doing the uncomfortable will help you succeed

Do you ever look at successful people and think, Wow! I can do that. You think to yourself, that’s an easy job, or that you have more skill in the subject? Yeah me too. This might be true, you might be more skilled or passionate about something the pros are doing, but here’s the secret…People at the top of their profession are willing to do the work that most of us aren’t willing to do. 

We have been fed a lie that we can just manifest our dreams into reality. I am a firm believer in the visualization process and agree with the idea that we can speak and act our way into believing certain things to promote a healthier life and mindset. Manifesting is something that can and does happen, but we forget about the work that goes on behind the scenes. 

When you begin to open your life up to new potential you have to put in some work. You must be prepared to dance with the universe in the direction of your dreams. 

A romantic partner isn’t going to find you sitting on your couch, you have to put yourself out there to be noticed and seen. Same goes for that dream job where you are making a real impact in the lives of others, or eating a healthy diet. You can visualize all these things perfectly in your head, but if you aren’t willing to show up for the dance then you will be no closer to your dreams than you are right now. 

Sitting on your couch listening to podcasts and reading about the successes of others is great, but only if it is followed up by action. 

The most successful people in the world are willing to do the work that most people put off until tomorrow. They have learned to love the uncomfortable moments that help them grow. They do not run away from hard conversations or say they’ll start tomorrow. They commit and do it now. They get out of bed and hit the gym, they look at their finances, they take responsibility and they do the work. 

Humans are designed for reward

We live in a society of instant gratification. A dopamine drip that keeps us plugged into social media rewards and endless packages showing up at our door. 

  • Do you really need these mindless likes and followers to justify your existence? 
  • Are the things bought bringing you true satisfaction? 

These are distractions. Distractions that take you off the work you don’t want to do. The work that takes focus, time, research, and work before the reward is given. 

Those leaders you are looking up to have decided that they would learn to love the uncomfortable space of doing the stuff they don’t want to do. They have decided to make the conversation in their head positive about their daily habits so they can focus on the big rewards. The rewards of writing a book, of gaining a platform, or taking charge of their finances, and health. Above all, they have decided that their life is worth it.

Your life is worth pushing out of your comfort zone too. And the only thing holding you back is your unwillingness to do the things you don’t want to do. 

The more you teach yourself to be comfortable in doing things you don’t want to do, the faster your goals will fly towards you. 

Learning to be uncomfortable

It starts with recognizing when you are choosing to shy away from a challenge. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. 

The challenge for me is always sitting down and looking at my finances. This has always been something that makes me uncomfortable. At some point I decided that if I didn’t know what’s going on with my money it was somehow easier to manage. Deciding to get involved and see what I was really spending my money on and what my in and outflow really looked like was super uncomfortable and I did not like what I saw. 

The conversation for me started with turning something I put off for years looking or dealing with to one of acceptance. I say to myself, I am choosing financial freedom by getting my finances under control. This statement reminds me that looking at my finances is more inline with where I want to be than my old way of avoiding the uncomfortable. 

Honestly it felt like a lie at first because of my lifelong avoidance of keeping track of it, but it is inline with where I am headed as an entrepreneur and leader. This is a practice that I choose every time I want to avoid this uncomfortable task. 

Noticing the limits of others

I have an amazing friend who has a talent for building community in her field. She is in high demand, yet she is constantly turning down opportunities because it feels uncomfortable for her to have a schedule. Stating it doesn’t feel organic enough. 

To that I say any leader, high-performer, or master of their field that you can name didn’t just show up when they felt like it. NO! They showed up and put in the work when they didn’t want to, when it didn’t feel organic. They showed up when they would rather be in bed. They showed up when they would rather be at that party. They showed up when they would rather watch their favorite television show. They showed up, they worked, and they gained the skills and knowledge to make every moment feel organic because it was never a question of where their focus was. 

We forget that the successful person has years of hard dedicated work behind them. That the overnight success stories took time and commitment. We don’t see the blood, sweat, and tears they endured to stand in front of us now, polished and with a certain amount of ease. And it will be the same for you. Once you are committed to doing the work and allowing the uncomfortable to be present and a part of your experience, you will fly towards your destination as it will begin to be reflected in all you do. No one will see the early mornings and late nights you put in. No one will see the jet lag you experience from doing too much. 

There will be others who look at you as the success story they judge. They will believe they can easily do what you do and with more skill. They will think these things while sitting comfortably on their couch wandering what’s holding them back. 

Decide to take the leap

It takes only a moment to decide to see and do things differently. Not everything at once, but the next best thing to move you to the dance floor of your own life. The universe is waiting. 

Set the Intention of Your Day with a Breathing Meditation

Live Your Life on Purpose in 10-15 Minutes A Day

We all live by a set of routines so ingrained into who we are that it’s easy to set ourselves on auto-pilot from the moment we roll out of bed. Instead of mindlessly hitting that snooze button and setting into motion your typical morning rituals, what if instead you took 10 to 15 minutes to set an intention for your day? 

When you adopt a breathing meditation into your morning routine you are offering yourself an opportunity to set a clear intention for the day. Taking time to breathe in gratitude and think about the things you care about puts you in a state of awareness.

Distractions Are Everywhere!

There is a lot going on in the world around us and those thoughts of stress, overwhelm, and frustration can bleed into your mindset. All those outside distractions bombard you every day so much so that you can begin adopting them as your own thoughts. We are raised on a diet of fear and this can take over our emotions and affect how we show up and interact with the world IF you allow those things to come into your mind.

According to the Huffington Post, 80% of Smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up!

Waking up to the beeping and sounds of your smartphone brings your mind from a place of rest immediately into the stresses of the day. Almost as though repeating a recording from the day before, your mind then begins to jump into the normal mind chatter that occupies your time about who you are and how you show up in your life. 

You know where this path leads because it’s the endless groundhogs day you’ve been living. Now is the time to figure out a way to start your morning in a more productive way. By sitting intentionally and breathing you create space to allow in thoughts and emotions around how you want to show up and respond throughout your day. 

Taking the Time to Create Your Day

You are no longer allowing your day to take you for a ride. You are setting yourself up by asking the questions that will fuel your day forward. 

  • What is your vision? 
  • What are your goals? 
  • What are your intentions? 
  • What’s the type of energy you want to show up with? 

Things will happen that are uncomfortable. You will still be forced to make micro-decisions from moment to moment that determine the trajectory of the day. 

  • You’re going to make mistakes
  • You’re going to be frustrated
  • You’re going to be triggered by that person
  • You’re going to get cut off in traffic
  • You’re going to be sad, depressed, overwhelmed or angry. 

All of these things will continue to happen. It’s called life! And when they arise they are going to impact the rest of the day. I know because I do it too. And I know how hard it is to get your mind right after a negative encounter. 

That is why it is important to set yourself up.

Set an intention for your day and release it through your breath. Allow it to cleanse the body and mind of negative ego-driven thought. Create an awareness in your life of what you want to see. 

  • If you want a peaceful home life then focus on that and let the nit-picking go.
  • If you want a healthy body then focus on that and let your inner bully go.
  • If you want to go back to school and get a degree then focus on that and let the idea of how old you are go. 

We get what we focus on and most of us are so distracted from moment to moment that we have no idea what we are intending for our day. Sure you might say you want a romantic partner but then spend no time intending that into your life. 

 Jim Rohn has a quote I love: 

“I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.”

10 to 15 Minutes

A 10-minute breath meditation can begin to open you up to new possibilities in your life. New ways of seeing the world around you and the world within you. Helping you to define the life you want to lead. Once you start to breathe into this new way of being you will be more aware of any thought or experience that happens that does not support your vision. You will start to actively disconnect from the negative and feel more aligned to your true nature and calling. 

Like all new practices and routines, change will begin to appear in unexpected ways. You may want to start writing down and exploring what comes up. Get curious about the thoughts that randomly enter your head when you are breathing with intention. You might surprise yourself at what comes up and what truly is important to you. 

A breathing meditation helps you gain control of your life and the vision you put out into the world. This type of meditation helps you live with intention and get clear on your goals. You will find yourself being able to say no when things are out of alignment. Your energy around things will change and showing up to breathe each morning will become a joy. 

10 to 15 minutes per day is all. 

That’s it. 

10-15 minutes of sitting and breathing intentionally. 

Placing your attention in your body and continually bringing it back to each inhale and each exhale. For 10 minutes allowing nothing to take precedence over this inhale, and this exhale. You might even say to yourself…

“This is me inhaling, this is me exhaling.”

Before you check your phone, before you begin your commute, before you drink that morning beverage, sit and breathe intention into your day. 

Come into your day from a place of action. Get it done first thing. Write out what you are looking for clarity on and then breathe. Create your day with intention. Feel the emotions you want to feel. Visualize the experiences you want to live. Breathe into a new you. 

10-15 minutes each day to allow your life to unfold in a more positive productive manner because you, my friend, are worth it. 

Cutting Ties With Old Self-Limiting Beliefs

Now is the Time to Break Through the Face of Defeat

From a very young age, we are lumped into groups. Groups that help us identify who we are, groups that give us a sense of community, and groups that ultimately shape the world around us. We are put into groups to help the world communicate to us in a particular way and we, in turn, learn how to communicate with the world. This is why breaking old mindset patterns is so challenging. Mindset often goes beyond what we believe. Old beliefs about who we are have been ingrained in us and have conditioned us into the lives we live. 

From as early as I can remember I knew I wasn’t smart. All the tests told me so and teachers told me so. From as early as first grade I remember missing out on recess and schoolwide events because I was behind in my work. I remember getting laughed at for not knowing how to count back change in the second grade, and I remember having to leave the classroom to get extra help with my work along with the mentally challenged kids. 

As I grew up it didn’t get easier, and at some point, I stopped trying. In my mind, I knew I was never going to be good at school. They showed me so, and as my other peers were praised for being “gifted” I began to understand my place in the system. 

I was categorized by how well I performed in the classroom and I slowly conditioned myself to believe it. 

My peers were others, like me, who saw their place and turned to jokes to cover the pain of feeling like a failure. It was no wonder that I ran from our education system the moment I could. Continuing my search for belonging in fields, opportunity, and people outside the normal status quo. 

Ultimately for me, this was a gift in many ways. 

  • It almost forced me to live a more creative life. One I wouldn’t change for anything. 
  • It allowed me to use creative thinking to solve problems in my life.
  • It opened me up to people and opportunities that were less mainstream

All things I am grateful for. 

It also left me with an idea that I would never be good enough. And because I believed that to be true it has been a reflection of many things in my life. 

Now, in my mid-forties, I’m angry because I lost so many years to an idea that was ingrained in me as a child. I’m angry that I live in a world that promotes this idea of categorizing children as “gifted”. I’m angry because I know that a child’s intelligence rarely has anything to do with who they are, and more to do with what they are told they are. 

Fortunately for me, I had parents who told me otherwise. Who encouraged me to think and grow at my own speed, and who continue to show me love even when they are unclear of the paths in life I choose to walk. Even so, the expectations between my sister and I continue to be very different, as families also fall into categorizing each other and lead us into a variety of expectations. 

Perhaps you have experienced a similar experience in school. Perhaps you were lumped into a category that allowed you to pass through the cracks of our education system with little belief in yourself. 

Maybe, like me, you are searching for a way to break through your old limiting beliefs. 

As I grow in my mindset work, I can see clearly that this is the growing edge I have come up with. The edge I must breakthrough in order for my own company Breath Mindset, to truly be successful. 

During my morning breath practices this week I’ve been hitting that edge. I can’t seem to breathe deeply. A blockage has appeared in my mid-back just to the right of my spine. It is painful to breathe deep and I have been approaching my work in this area tenderly. 

The questions I am forced to ask are… 

  • What is causing this blockage? 
  • Why am I not allowing this discomfort to move through my body?
  • Where did this sudden discomfort come from?

In the quiet of my morning routine, the answers have poured out of my eyes through streams of tears as it all became so clear. 

It is time for me to shed this old limiting belief and step into my value. The pain in my back is the result of a lifelong belief that I am ready to let go of. 

Breathwork is my tool, and mindset work is the motivator. 

Only I can choose how I grow from here. It’s not always easy, and it’s important to share. We are all growing through some sort of limiting belief buried inside of us. Preventing us from stepping into our power. Once you can identify where your work is, you must be willing to breathe into it. Expose the truth, the hurt, the anger, and step into the knowledge that you no longer need to identify with it. 

It takes courage to face the beasts of our past. To say I am vulnerable and unsure of what the new version of me will look like. Please know I am in the midst of the work myself. Not a polished product with answers to give, but a working, living diagram of the knowledge I myself am seeking. 

This breath is not always easy, but one must be willing to sit in the rain if you truly want to enjoy the rainbow. 

Every day as I do this work I am not always sure of the path that lay before me. I am not 100% confident that this is going to work out. But I do know that if I continue to show up and do the work it will be rewarding. I know now that I am smart enough to figure this out. I know now that I was never meant for a 9-5 job and the school system just helped ensure that I didn’t end up in one. 

My path continues to be windy and unpaved, but I am smart enough to know that I can leave a map for others to follow. I am smart enough to know that by being alive on this planet today I have something to offer. I am wise enough now to know that my purpose and passion is not to be smart, but to be kind. To offer service to others who struggle with belonging and purpose and to show them that they hold within themselves the power to change their life. And that they, you, can do it one breath at a time. 

Make Routines Not Resolutions

Because We Are What We Repeatedly Do

It’s the start of a brand new year. And just like the snow falling outside my window it feels fresh, clean, and full of peaceful intention. The new year is an opportunity to reflect inward so you can grow outward. There is a collective energy that can be felt as we step into the new year. One of hope, new beginnings, and a chance to close the door on the past. 

I love the promise of the new year, and always question those who resist the idea of making positive change in their life. Proudly pronouncing on social media that they don’t need to change or want to grow. It always fills me with a sense of defeat. Like they have given up on the idea that they have more to offer themselves or the world. I also see a lot of resistance to making resolutions, and this I can more easily wrap my head around. 

The idea of resolutions sounds so finite. A proclamation we share that is often completely unsupported so we get discouraged and fall back into our usual patterns.

In a society that has come to expect instant gratification, resolutions feel like too much work.

What if we changed the conversation? What if instead of focusing on resolutions we moved that focus to make new routines?

That is ultimately what you are saying when you resolve to do anything new. 

If you want to change, you have to make room for that change to come into your life. Routines are a great way to do that.

Give yourself structure

Routines provide structure so you can break up big lofty goals into daily doable actions. Like any routine, the hardest part is to start. But once that momentum is moving you will have put into place a structure to keep you going. It won’t be a question of making time to work out, it will be a part of your routine.

The idea of creating a routine can feel overwhelming on its own, so break it up. Ask yourself these simple questions to get you moving…

  • What are one to two things I can do every day to help me reach my outcome?
  • Who can I enlist to hold me accountable?
  • When can I create time to work on a said goal?
  • Where is a good place to post my vision so I can be motivated by it daily?
  • How am I going to show up every day to make this a reality?

According to healthline, it takes the average person 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. This means that the first 2 months or so are going to require the most work. After that you will start to notice a change. 

Daily habits are what will lead you into a healthier happier life or what keep you stuck in a life you might not even like. 

What makes successful people successful is that they do the stuff that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. Successful people want to stay curled up in bed under cozy blankets when the alarm goes off too, but they have decided their life is too important so they get up and begin their routine. They get up and get going. 

Just keep swimming!

The wise words of Dori from Finding Nemo are a continual reminder for me to keep going. Much like Dori I often find myself wondering what I was looking for or where I’m actually going. Sometimes I just want to give up because I feel like no one is listening or cares. But her words echo in my ear, just keep swimming, just keep swimming! Momentum comes from movement. Movement helps ward off depression and helps those endorphins to start moving through your body. Movement is progress and progress promotes more focused thinking. 

As Dr. Joe Despenza says, “Move from thinking to doing, to being.”

Routines help you prioritize goals

Knowing what you’re aiming for is a huge part of what will make or break a new routine. It’s important to know why the outcome of doing this new routine is important to you. This sounds simple enough, but I know so many people who set goals based on what they think they should do, or what they think others want them to do. This kind of thinking is not powerful. It is fear-based and it will leave you with a snapshot of your potential future reality that doesn’t empower you to grow. 

Get clear about why you’re choosing to invest in this new routine. 

Set yourself up for success!

I know so many people who never dare write down a goal out of fear of failure. Not even allowing themselves to envision a new and different way of being just in case it doesn’t come true. They feel like a failure before they even begin. Ugh! That’s a lot of pressure. Routines set you up for success. So instead of saying “I’m going to lose 30 pounds” and feeling overwhelmed and pressured and afraid, say “I’m going to prioritize my health” or “I walk 15 minutes every day after work.” 

The key to any successful routine is to prioritize it. This is why it is super important to know your why. Simplify and you too can start moving from thinking about it to doing it, to being it. And come next year you will be empowered and ready to set more life-changing routines into action. 

Let me know what routines you are implementing into your day, and if you need an accountability partner let me know.