3 Ways to Guide Your Energy Back to the Outcome You Seek

Energy Flows Where Your Attention Goes

Have you ever noticed that in times when it feels like you’re fighting an uphill battle your thinking might not be the best? It’s natural to start seeing obstacles as permanent fixtures when your focus is on all the negatives. This is because energy flows where your attention goes. Tony Robbins said it best, “To get what you really want in life, you need a clear goal that has purpose and meaning behind it.” This doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles, it just means you learn how to shift your focus to stay present with the reality you seek.

We all have times in life when things just aren’t going well. The hard part is recognizing those negative thoughts that set you spiraling and redirecting them in the moment. This can be challenging since so many of our thought patterns are a product of our unconscious mind.

The next time you find yourself in a negative thought loop, here are three ways to guide you back into the present so you can redirect your thoughts onto the outcomes you want to see.

Change The Story You Tell Yourself

If you are looking around at your home, work, and relationships and not seeing what you like, then you need to change your narrative. We all have voices in our heads that are unconsciously playing a role in how we view our life. Many of these thoughts are holding you back!

When you find yourself blaming others for your terrible work life or lazy partner, it’s a sign that you’re not taking ownership of your own life. The blame game keeps you safe from having to own the fact that you played a role in the design of your life.

Of course, there are many things outside of our control, in fact, most things are.

The past
The future
The economy
Natural disasters
Other people’s actions, thoughts, desires, and beliefs

Focusing on what is out of your control is counterproductive.

Throughout the history of time, people from far worse circumstances have overcome adversity. A quick way to change the story you tell yourself is to read about these people. Let yourself be inspired by the underdog. Learn about how people like…

Harriet Tubman escaped enslavement and went on to help her family and many others do the same by enlisting help through the underground railroad.
How Abraham Lincoln overcame chronic depression by adhering to a purpose bigger than himself.
And how the diary of 13-year-old Anne Frank continues to inspire by reminding us of the small joys in life and finding appreciation in every moment.

Try and read about people who transformed their lives and the lives of others and not be inspired to make a move. Notice how the acts of these great leaders start to stir up radical transformation inside of you.

Take Action

Taking control of the direction of your dreams means you take action. Inspired or not, just get moving.

The coach is a trap of comfort
Your job is a trap for income
Toxic relationships are a trap of attachment
Living small is a trap of fear

You’re robbing yourself of living your life to your full potential when you don’t take action.

When you commit to taking action, even a small step in the direction of your goals, your confidence begins to rise. Think about it: Have you ever taken a risk when your confidence was low? I’d be willing to bet that you haven’t.

It’s time to reclaim your confidence by taking action. Whatever that looks like for you, small or large just start moving!

Clean the house, or a room, or a countertop
Make the phone call, the email, or the text
Write down a goal, vision, or dream
Get intentional with your family, friends, and coworkers

We live in an amazing universe that supports the flow of energy. What you focus on sees you and will start to walk towards you the moment you decide with commitment and purpose to walk towards it. I don’t care what it is, focus on more free time or income or ease and stop allowing the obstacles to be the focus.

Obstacles are just another way the universe is checking in to make sure you really want what you seek. They aren’t meant to be your focus.

What brings you confidence? Focus on that. Do more of that. Take action on that.

Keep Consistent

With confidence, action, and ownership you are already ahead of so many in the energy game. So many who don’t understand that everything is energy. Including all the things they’re complaining about. Life can be hard or it can be fun, the difference all depends on where your energy flows. You are in the driver’s seat of your life regardless of if you are steering the wheel or not.

It’s normal to have good days, and bad days, but the key is to stay consistent with your focus.

Transformation takes time and demands you to keep consistent. A solid routine will help you with this when those hard days arise.

Owning your experience is a powerful thing, but it comes at a price.

Some may not like that you’ve changed and grown when they are still stuck.
Some will be inspired by your actions.

That has to do with their focus so don’t worry about it. You just keep consistently fueling your energy into the life you desire, and all things will fall into place.

Look at anyone who is successfully living the life you desire. They are doing something, probably many things, on a consistent basis that support this lifestyle. Learn from them. Watch them. See how they navigate through challenges and be inspired. Just as someone is looking to you for inspiration, you too must be that example for others. It’s part of what will keep you consistent.

Believe In The Energy You’re Creating

It’s an absolute fact that energy is all around you. You have the ability to tap into any energy field you want. And with the right focus, you can step into all you desire.

Look inside, and figure out what you truly desire. It’s not going to happen without focus. Take action toward this new story, and you will connect with the energy you guide your attention to.

March 21, 2023March 21, 2023

The Dreaded Feeling of Being Completely at the Mercy of Someone You Love

Lessons in Love and Letting People Be

One of the most challenging experiences in life is to watch someone you love go through hardship. You may have all the right tools to help them, but it is they who must pick up the information and be open to receiving it. Allowing loved ones to walk their own path is HARD! After all, heartbreak is one of the many costs of love.

Parents are incredible. They watch as these tiny adorable beings grow and develop into teenage monsters desperate to find an identity separate from everything you’ve taught them. Sure they remain your precious angel and help develop you into a better, more patient human, but you do it at the cost of watching your heart walk around outside of yourself forever.

I am not going to pretend that I understand such awesome love, but I do know what it’s like to feel helpless at the mercy of someone you love.

My dad and I have never viewed the world through the same lens. We have always been at odds with how to live life. At some point, my dad quit arguing and just relied on his famous saying, “Live and learn, Mary. Live and learn.” to which I would roll my eyes.

I can only imagine how hard this has been for him. His well-meant guidance was so often completely ignored. And yet, he loves and accepts me still.

Don’t get me wrong, we have an awesome relationship. Heck, I gave the man a kidney! Our differences have helped us both to grow and learn and become, I think, better humans.

Shifting Roles

At some point, if you’re lucky enough to make it to mid-life with your parents still alive, the roles you play in each other’s life start to shift.

Not to say that my dad doesn’t still have well-meant advice for me to ignore, but now I too get to watch helplessly as he ignores the knowledge I have to share.

The circle of life is incredible and sad. One day you’re just a kid – carefree not thinking that your actions affect anyone, and the next day you’re 45 and wishing you had taken that well-meant advice.

Perhaps if you had, he’d be listening to your advice today.

My dad has lived a very structured life in all areas outside of his health. And because of these choices, he spends a lot of time and money supporting a body that has failed him.

It was no surprise when he was rushed to the hospital last week unable to calm a fast-beating heart. He lost his breath completely and spent two days trying to recover his breath.

The entire focus of my business is helping others to breathe.

This is actually what I do. Daily. I help people to transform their lives and take hold of their health by developing a strong mindful breath practice. And here is my dad, unable to breathe.

This is maddening!

With all the resources out there and all the conversations about using your breath to feel into your body that I know would help him, completely ignored!

It’s a reminder that we are all surrounded by resources we are unable or unwilling to see.

Everyone has something of value to offer you, but it only works if you are willing to listen and learn. Just like my dad so lovingly showed me the door to a mainstream life, it was up to me to decide to walk through that door, but I chose to keep it locked. Now it is me knocking at a locked door wondering why he chooses to not listen to reason.

Allowing others to be and accepting them for who they are despite all their flaws. This is love. This is torture. This is one part of the journey.

Reflections

The cycle of worry continues as my dad makes his way back home with all good intentions to take better care of his health. To work on his breathing, to walk more, to eat better, and to get off diet soda. And I will be there to offer him the advice and support that I can.

But I too am human, flawed, and know how hard it is to change, even with the best of intentions behind me. Just as he has lived allowing me to come to decisions on my own, I too must respect his choices along his journey. And we will continue to love each other and support each other despite it all.

This is what my life is about. This is what led me to find my breath in the first place. All we can do is be living examples of our values and try to allow others to be an example of theirs. At the end of the day, who wants to live in a world where everyone agrees with them and sees things the same way? There is no growth in that. There is no way of knowing what you value until it is tested.

This might be the ultimate test of love and compassion. Maybe the ties that bind us to love are there to remind us that we have work to do. That our way isn’t the way for everyone, and that accepting those we love for their differences guides us to offer the same gratitude and understanding for those we don’t know and don’t love.

Every breath you take is an opportunity to grow, to change, to see things from a new perspective. This I know because if you are still breathing it means you are still alive.

I invite you to breathe fully into your life. Breathe deep into the dark parts, the hard parts, the unknown, and exhale out the tension you’ve built around them. Shed light onto others by breathing acceptance into your own experience. Then perhaps by pure example, you may find others are releasing their need to control the outcomes of love, and just be in the moment. Grateful for the time you have and awake to the messages of love.

March 14, 2023March 14, 2023

Discover the One Tool You’re Missing for Complete Personal Transformation

Moving Beyond the Mindset

If you are into personal development then you understand how important mindset work is. It’s really really important. But in order for growth to take flight you need to move beyond the mindset.

Mindset devolopment helps us identify patterns that hold us back and gives us tools to release these blocks as we expand our thinking around our lives and circumstances. This is important work. It helps us to be better humans and it helps others to be open to seeing a way out of their limiting mindset as well. The more work you do the more you want to share that work with others because you can see the shifts and enjoy the benefits.

But what if there was a way to create a deeper connection to your transformation? A way to implement sustainable changes in your life with lasting impact?

Along your path inward to deeper understanding you will hit roadblocks and come up against long-held beliefs that are hard and challenging to grow through. It’s perfectly understandable why so many people stop at mindset work and skip the deep cognitive work that takes place in the more subtle aspects of your body.

In fact, I’d say most people would rather skip the uncomfortable reality of feeling into their body at all. You are given one vessel to guide your spirit through this world, and we spend much of the time obsessing over it and completely ignoring it all in the same breath.

Breathwork is the tool to help you move beyond the mindset and settle into something much more impactful and rewarding.

From the moment you are born into this world, and into your body, you have your breath to support you and guide you, yet it is often an overlooked asset. Your breath is the super highway between the external and internal worlds we live in. This alone makes breathwork a sustainable tool for complete transformation.

Breathwork uses your greatest resource as a guide to dive into the root of your limiting beliefs. It has the power to uproot and dislodge stuck energy. Once this stored energy has been released your nervous system has the power to process and remove the buried trauma from your body.

Unleashing stagnant trauma-filled energy can be challenging and without the support from all the mindset work you have done it could feel impossible to work through. But you do have your mindset work to guide you through the uncomfortable. You understand that on the other side of this pain lies strength, courage, and a happier, healthier life.

Breathwork moves you beyond the mindset.

No doubt you’ve heard about breathwork. It’s taking the world by storm right now. Every therapist, coach, and yoga teacher is jumping on this trend because YES! Breathwork is the key. As more and more people become aware of the life-changing practices of utilizing your breath effectively, the more mainstream the practices will become.

If you are looking for a way to move beyond the mindset then look no further than the rapidly growing phenomenon that is breathwork.

Breathwork can release trauma from the body without the painful reality of having to relive the experience. Breathwork does bring up strong emotions, sensations, and images, but it has been known to accomplish in a short time what years of therapy can do.

Pair this with a solid mindset routine and you are on your way to…

Releasing old limiting beliefs about yourself, your income, and your success
Attract more of the energy you want to flow through your life
Transform your life into a new way of being

Breathwork uses simple and effective breathing patterns to assist you in releasing blocks. Breathwork also allows you space to identify more clearly where in your body you are holding on to trauma and beliefs that you are ready to release.

It’s time for you to heal, grow, and take that mindset to the next level. So instead of continuing to fill your head with all the latest mindset research that you’ll probably forget anyway, turn towards your breath. Your greatest resource in helping you grow beyond your comfort zone so you can truly take your mindset to new heights.

Looking for ways to start your breathwork journey? Join me over at Breath Mindset and discover the right path for you.

March 7, 2023March 7, 2023

Escapism, Addiction, and the Paralyzing Trap of Online Gaming

How to Break the Cycle and Get Back on Track in Your Life

You know that game you love to play on your smartphone? The one that is riddled with ads for other games marketed to get you to download even more games? The ads that you are forced to watch so you can continue to the next round of solitaire that sometimes, just … maybe … sometimes you decide to download and try. I did that this week, and realized after six hours of gameplay that I was developing an addiction fast, and needed to delete the game before it became an unhealthy habit.

These games are designed for quick wins that produce a never-ending supply to your dopamine drip.

Six hours of my Sunday gone and I didn’t even realize what was happening. All I knew was that the grain needed to get harvested, the cows needed more food, and the townspeople each had a list of goods that they were waiting on me, the Mayor, to supply.

It was…

mildly stressful because I’m a pleaser and wanted to deliver in a timely fashion.
rewarding because my crops grew fast.
mindless enough that it didn’t take much effort.

As I became aware of the time it was sucking from my day I knew I must delete this game now or I would never walk away. The addiction was already strong. I mean, if I just waited for 3 more minutes the cheese would be done and I could fill that order! Then if I hung out for 7 more minutes the tomatoes would be ready for harvest and I could plant the sugar cane for the school teacher. And since I’m here I might as well wait an additional 2 minutes and collect the eggs.

You see my issue.

There was never a good time to turn it off. I couldn’t just walk away. I knew the carrots were ready and if I planned it just right I could plant another crop before I fell asleep so it would be ready when I woke up.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

This started spiraling fast.

When I play Flow Free it’s like five minutes a game and I’m out. Just one puzzle is all I need. But this isn’t just a puzzle, it’s a world. I have responsibilities! I’m the mayor!

I woke up Monday thinking about my crops and knew what I had to do.

I grabbed my phone and deleted the app and went to take a shower. Letting the water cleanse away any lingering thoughts about what supplies might have arrived with the morning train. I would never know.

This scared me.

How could a mindless game inch its way into my life so easily and take control of six hours of my time? The time I need to work on my business.

The award center of my brain was on fire. I was doing good things and could see quick progress – something less accessible in my real-world business.

The harvest I crop takes more time.
The connections I’m building aren’t artificial.
The rewards are fewer and further apart.
The work is harder and I sometimes feel lost.

Is this what escapism is? Addiction? Boredom? Depression? A little of all of these things?

It’s easy to see how mindless these games are. Watching time tick away when you have real responsibilities feels paralyzing. In the game, I know exactly what I need to do, what’s expected of me, and how I will be rewarded.

In my life, I have no answers.

It’s unclear if what I’m doing is actually going to work out. I don’t have a clear road map of what my business should look like and what others expect of me. Certainly, there is no way to know what the reward for my work will look or feel like.

I chose to be an entrepreneur. I knew it was going to come with long bouts of uncertainty. But I didn’t anticipate downloading a game that would awaken such a deep need to serve and succeed.

Breaking the Cycle

If you find yourself, as I did, stuck in a cycle of not wanting to turn away from the quick hit of your dopamine, then listen up. There is a way to quit. But like all things necessary for success, it’s not going to feel easy. At least not at first.

Step 1. Move Your Focus

First, you need to start transitioning your time away from the game. This might mean finding ways to fill your time that is equally rewarding.

For instance, you can set up your daily tasks with rewards. If you think you can handle it, one reward might be 10 minutes to check in on your crops and fill the orders left by the townspeople. For me, this is too risky. My rewards are more like a star chart. This gives me a visual of how I’m doing. Seeing forward motion and offering myself a treat once I hit 10 stars on my chart. For me this is ice cream from my favorite ice cream parlor, Molly Moons.

I get a star for every workshop I book, client I land, and article I post. This adds up fairly quickly. Not as quickly as my virtual crops, but it helps keep my focus where it needs to be.

Step 2. Delete the Game

If you haven’t gone cold turkey, as I did, it’s totally ok. Six hours in one stretch was enough for me to see there was an issue. For you, it might look more like an hour a day every day for the past 6 months. Whatever the case, if you’re here, reading this, you know there’s an issue to be dealt with. So do it. Delete the game. Or at the very least, put a stop timer on your phone and block yourself from playing it for more than 20 minutes per day. And if that sounds hard, then make it 15.

I know, I’m so mean.

Step 3. Journal Your Success

And finally… Start a journal of daily wins for yourself. Every night before bed write down three things you did that day that you consider a win. It doesn’t have to do with your business, it can be family things or friend things. Heck, it could be that you didn’t get caught up in your online world. Wins can be big or small.

Wins help you to focus your brain on all the good things you are accomplishing during the day and start seeing them as positive choices that are moving your life forward in a productive way.

The more you can do this, the less you will be drawn back to the fake world you’ve been wasting time in. Yes, you got to be mayor. In that world, you had power, and crops, and chickens too, but the more you begin to separate yourself from that, the more you will open your eyes to all the real things that surround you.

The truth is, you are the mayor of your world. You hold all the power. It’s up to you to choose to spend it online and accomplish nothing real or to turn the game off and start producing the results you want to see here, now, in this shared reality; building something you can be proud of. Because that is the ultimate dopamine high my friends.

Reach out and let me know how the transition is going for you. What rewards are you finding in your life and where are you getting stuck? What online trap has left you looking for a support group? And what tool has worked best to prevent a relapse?